this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize