It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I love having hate sex.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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