Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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