He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
