All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
