Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
