you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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