Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
ttyl tear gas
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
