You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize