U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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