Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
