Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize