Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
