I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
