How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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