just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize