I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
