Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
