ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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