I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
