I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
