if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
