Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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