where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
