You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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