What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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