You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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