Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
