Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
