It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
This is my gift to your gina
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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