All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
