Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
