You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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