I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
