So drunk, too bad you don't want this
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You had me at "let me see your balls"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
