Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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