actually, I'm a sock model
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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