I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
