she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
