Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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