She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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