I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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