i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
