i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
