In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
