I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just googled if crying burns calories
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
