dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Naked. naked and bneed help.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
