it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
