he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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