I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we have officially lost it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
