R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
