PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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