I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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