so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
