you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
