just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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