it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm like, not good at living.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
