I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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