You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
