It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
